Feeling What We Feel without Agenda…or Story

As I approach the end of my 8th decade, I am appreciating the bits of clarity that have been streaming into my awareness.  In honoring the simplicity that I encounter, facets of Life that have been challenging over time now seem to be growing simpler.
   We were each born into a reality riddled with egocentrism and dysfunctional economic and political systems for the most part: that is, a ‘Reality’ that has been certifiably “failing” for a number of decades.
   As toddlers who then sprout up while seeking greater possible safety and security in often chaotic circumstances, we formulate the kind of belief systems that 2, 5, 8 and 12 year olds are likely to create…temporary, ‘make-shift’, limited ones that need to be re-caibrated and released as we mature and perhaps become capable of experiencing Life with greater clarity. 
   When I was in my mid-30s, my second wife asked me what I was feeling. My response was “How the hell should I know?”
   Feelings were scary elements in this reality. “Sad”, “Mad” or “Glad” could all get me in trouble…especially MAD!…or, if any of them were too much.
   Therefore, I avoided them. Better to be numb than at their mercy. 

The human mind concocts such stories to try to *make sense* of our lives. Often truly ridiculous stories…but these narratives enable us to avoid being real with who we actually are or how we are.
   Such narratives allow us to stop “being present” as life unfolds, to zone out, once again.
   We therefore have the opportunity to use our imagined ‘cleverness’ to navigate life ‘successfully’.
   I have discovered over the decades, however, that the simplest facets of living can contain the greatest treasures. 
   Several years ago I began exploring the feelings that arose: what if I fully focused on it when one did? Just being with it and nothing else?
   I recognized that it was possible to get ‘lost’ in a feeling, or to “fuse” with it….but it became obvious that only happened because of the “stories” my mind cooked up. I took guidance from little kids: how quickly their own emotions flowed through them:

feel them, then let them go

   Which is not that easy as a ‘grownup’…with all of one’s habits of blaming others and self-judgement. Perseverance does pay off, however. Plus, it is rich exploration

“Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.“

   Like exploring one’s feelings, delving into our own breath…the cycle of inhale, exhale…is utterly vast terrain. Enough to occupy an entire life. [More on this in the coming months and next year.]

And, another reminder from someone who explored this reality:
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”
~ Albert Einstein.

Blessings & Namasté,
Gene

Just love what you wrote here Gene.So transparent and clear.   Your point may be the most important one of all. In our more than three decades of working with people we still find that even in some advanced souls the simple capacity to “be with” our experience without the need to fix it, figure it out, place it in a psycho spiritual model context, get rid of it, etc is still at the core of this journey.  You bring this across so clearly and simply. Thanks,Love,barry

Thanks you, my friend! Appreciate your taking time to give me feed back.

Am feeling moved to find my authentic voice and just let it flow…. [A radical departure from my early years.]

Much Love,
Gene

Gene, For me, this is the clearest, most succinct, and best of any of your writings to date. It feels the most authentic of anything of yours I’ve read. 🙂

Much love, Chris

REPLY:
Thank you, my friend. It does feel gratifying to me.  And, the seed of it was born last Saturday in our Man Tea sharing, when I had no idea what I was going to say…but feeling itself was strong.’~ GENE